Love Conquers All

We've all hear that in some way, shape, or form...right?

Right.

I am hardly one who's prone to cry.  Anyone close to me knows that.  But today I couldn't help myself.  I cried, and cried, but not for all the troublesome things I'm currently going through.  I don't cry for that because it's pointless.  I cried because of unexpected, unconditional love and friendship.

Really, this blessing couldn't have come at a better time.  Yes, things are tough.  My daughter's medical issues don't seem to have an end in sight.  No, she isn't getting better.  I need to find work to cover these mounting expenses.  This isn't a unique story by any means.  Yeah, and there's a lot of other stuff, too...blah, blah, blah.

But tonight, as I put my son to bed, he prayed for me.  It was so genuine, sweet, and unexpected.  I feel so blessed to be a recipient of his empathy.

And just a few days ago, I reconnected with a friend from 10 years ago.  I tracked him down for a professional reference I'll need on my job quest.  Really?  How do 10 years pass so quickly?  When I talked to him, it's as if no time had passed.  He's one of those few friends who are simply your friend for the sake of friendship - not because you can do something for them, not because they're under your obligation, not even because of necessity.  Just because.  And I LOVE that.  You cannot find many people like that in a lifetime.  Little does he know that he was, for a short period, my mentor, a little bit of a father figure (for lack of having a good one of my own), and best of all, someone with whom you can be completely transparent and honest.  It was touching when he told me he kept a gift from a decade ago, or the recipe I had given him.  I could hardly believe the regard he had for me because, and I'll admit it, there is no reason for it.

And you know what else?  I get to nibble on some pretty awesome chocolates another friend gave me for no reason at all.  Just because.  He's probably a better friend to me than I am to him.  I hope one day to return the favor because he deserves that kind of friendship he's shown to me, even when I didn't deserve it.

But if you think about it, true love and friendship aren't things given because one is deserving.  It is simply GIVEN.

It's Just Not Enough / Self-Pity Ramblings

I have spent the last few weeks in a perpetual cycle of all things "Not Being Enough".  It is exhausting mentally, especially emotionally, and sometimes physically.

As I ready myself to prepare our taxes, I estimate that our tax return just "won't be enough" to cover all these other expenses that keep popping up like pop-ups on an internet browser.

My little side business "just isn't enough" to cover more expenses incurred with my daughter's healthcare. As I manage the family's budget, it is more than evident that our current status "just won't be enough" to cover anything. So now, after giving everything I have of myself to the family, I resign myself to the working world again.  I'm sure the adventures of my job search will inspire another post.

After many weeks of my daughter doing (what I thought was) better, the doctor informs me her progress "just isn't enough" to be considered adequate.

And for the proverbial cherry on top, after all those miles of running and working out, the scale tells me the weight lost "just isn't enough", either. But those are my standards. I'm at least happy that I'm healthy again, and certainly not overweight.

So what happens when you give every last ounce of all you have, just to not be "Enough"? Then again, will it ever be?

Of course, the Patriots losing the SuperBowl didn't help, but I'm happy it had nothing to do with me (at least).